My Neuroqueerability Glossary
Ableism (n): The casual, constant reminder that society was not built for your body or brain. Often disguised as “concern.”
Accessible (adj): A word buildings love to claim and rarely earn. Legally, it means “someone with a clipboard said it’s fine.” In practice, it usually means “technically there’s a ramp, but it’s behind a dumpster, up a hill, and locked on weekends.” It can also refer to websites that proudly display a button that almost works.
Accessibility (n): A basic human right, often treated like a luxury upgrade.
Accommodation (n): see Reasonable Accommodation
Adaptive Technology (n): Any gadget, app, or overpriced hunk of plastic and metal designed to help disabled people do what abled people take for granted. (Eg, typing, hearing, seeing, not throwing a device across the room because it won’t calibrate). Often built by tech bros who’ve never met a disabled person but “totally get it.” Works most of the time, unless you genuinely need it.
ADHD (n): A neurodevelopmental condition best described as your brain running 46 tabs at once, but the music is coming from a different device, and the tab you need the most keeps crashing.
ADHD Time Management (n): Doing nothing for six hours, panicking for 30 minutes, and then completing an entire semester’s work during a manic burst of doom-adrenaline.
Agender (adj): No gender. Zilch. Your identity isn’t a lack, it’s a rebellion. You’re not “missing” gender, you’ve transcended it.
Allistic (adj): Someone who is not autistic. Also known as a “neurotypical civilian.” They often enjoy things like eye contact, vague small talk, and sudden loud noises. Handle with curiosity and patience; they mean well, they just haven’t unlocked the expansion pack.
Ambulatory Controversy (n): A disabled person who can sometimes walk, which confuses everyone more than quantum physics.
Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) (n): A groundbreaking civil rights law from 1990 that says, “Hey, maybe disabled people should be allowed inside.” Often treated more like a polite suggestion than enforceable legislation. Loved by politicians, ignored by architects, and routinely violated by every venue with a staircase and a smug attitude.
Androgynous (adj): When your look, vibe, or energy confuses people in the best possible way. Not masculine. Not feminine. Just effortlessly hot in a what-planet-are-you-from-and-can-I-go-there kind of way.
Often mistaken for: “The cool character in a fantasy novel who knows secrets.”
Translation: “Mind your business and compliment my boots.”
Anxiety (n): Your brain’s overenthusiastic security system that goes off when someone texts “Can we talk?” or when you remember that one embarrassing thing you said eight years ago. Occasionally helpful, mostly exhausting. Mine is called Antonio.
Aphasia (n): When your brain turns into a stubborn mime and refuses to give you the word you knew yesterday. Not stupidity. Not forgetfulness. Just your language center taking a coffee break without telling you. Great for dramatic pauses, less great during job interviews and dates.
Aromantic (adj): Doesn’t experience romantic attraction. Still loves deeply, just not the way society scripts it. Their love language might be memes, parallel play, or sending you cursed YouTube videos at 5 AM.
Asexual (adj): Not experiencing sexual attraction. No, that doesn’t mean broken, repressed, or “just waiting for the right person.” May or may not enjoy sex. Might enjoy romantic love, cuddles, memes, or very intense emotional staring. Not an unfinished cake. Just a cake in purple, black, white, and gray.
Asperger’s Syndrome (n): A now-retired term and VIP pass for “socially awkward genius” that mostly got handed out to white boys with obsessive interests and a hatred of eye contact. Officially folded into the autism spectrum because, surprise! It’s all autism. Also, it’s named after a Nazi, so yeah, let’s not bring it back.
Assistive Devices (n): Stylish accessories or tools that scream “I’m disabled, not invisible,” unless you're using them, in which case everyone suddenly forgets how doors work. Includes canes, braces, wheelchairs, and other items designed to help you do basic human tasks while strangers assume you're faking it for attention and parking privileges. May sometimes double as weapons when needed.
Autism/Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) (n): A delightful neurotype pathologized into a “disorder” because society can’t handle people who don’t lie well, hate small talk, and have passionate opinions about train schedules or ancient mythology. Comes with bonus sensory overload, lifelong masking trauma, and being told you're either a misunderstood genius or a broken robot, never just a person.
Alt definition: An operating system that usually rejects small talk, loves patterns, and occasionally crashes during loud events.
Autism Olympics (n): Where you’re only valid if you’re a genius or completely incapable. No middle lane. Good luck.
Autistic Joy (n): The purest, weirdest, most radiant kind of happiness the world has never bothered to understand.
Autistic Meltdown (n): When your brain says “NOPE” and your body follows... loudly. May involve yelling, crying, stimming, and/or collapsing in public. Not a tantrum. Not cute. Not a choice.
Autistic Shutdown (n): The quiet cousin of the meltdown, where your whole system powers down. You can go nonverbal, motionless, or emotionally flat, like a laptop on 1% battery with no charger in sight.
Bathroom, Public (n): A place where gender, anxiety, and architectural inaccessibility meet in one fluorescent-lit trauma simulator.
Because I Say So (n): A phrase used by emotionally immature people when their control feels threatened.
Bi Culture (n): The eternal internal monologue of “Am I crushing on them or do I want to be them?”
Also: sitting weird in chairs, cuffing pants, and having too many feelings about fictional characters.
Bigender (adj): Two genders (maybe more), one body. Sometimes simultaneously; sometimes alternating, always valid. Like gender multitasking, but emotionally layered. Gender is fluid, btw.
Binder Nap (n): When you accidentally fall asleep in your chest binder and wake up feeling like a crushed soda can.
Bisexual (adj): Attracted to more than one gender. Not confused. Not greedy. Not a phase.
Brain Fog (n): The mental equivalent of trying to think through mashed potatoes. You had a thought once. RIP to that king.
Burnout (n): The moment when your mind, body, and soul file for divorce. Also comes in deluxe neurodivergent and chronic illness editions. A full-body, soul-deep crash caused by doing too much for too long with too little support. Symptoms include: emotional flatlining, executive dysfunction turned up to 11, and/or considering faking your death just to rest. Please unplug and replug in a dark, silent room and try again later.
Chronic Fatigue (n): Imagine running a marathon in a dream, waking up, and being tired from the dream.
Chronic Illness (n): Becoming a part-time detective and full-time patient. A never-ending group project with your body, and no one is doing their part. Explaining that your condition will not “get better” repeatedly.
Bonuses: Fatigue, medical gaslighting, a calendar full of doctor’s appointments, and four-hour-long phone calls to the insurance company.
Chronic Pain (n): A loyal companion and roommate. Wakes up early, stays up late, and never pays rent.
Chosen/Found Family (n): The people who show up when your bio fam doesn’t, or even if they do but still don’t get it. They know your trauma and your coffee order.
Cisgender (adj): When your gender identity lines up with what you were assigned at birth. “Default” setting for most people… and they will let you know. Not a bad word.
Side effects may include: never questioning anything and asking uncomfortable questions at dinner.
Coming Out (v): The never-ending process of explaining your entire existence to people who still think gender and sexuality have only two flavors.
Crip Joy (n): That electric, rebellious delight disabled people feel when we thrive in a world that swore we couldn’t. Could be using a mobility aid to dance at Pride, laughing through pain with your best friend, or bed-rotting in silk pajamas because allowing yourself rest is joyful. It’s happiness but spicy, built with ramps, audacity, and a deep love for saying, “Actually, I can.”
Crip Time (n): The magical, non-linear experience of doing things when your body and brain allow it, not when the clock says so.
Dead Name (n): That cursed noise from the past that makes your skin try to fold itself into a paper crane and fly away.
Dead Name (v): To call someone by the name they buried, like digging up a grave and acting surprised it’s haunted. AKA To misgender someone with extra steps.
Demisexual (adj): Only experiences sexual attraction when a strong emotional bond is formed. Think: “It’s not you, it’s just that I need to know your soul before I want your body.”
Depression (n): A charming little brain parasite that tells you you’re worthless while you eat dry cereal in the dark at 1 am. Has many modes: can’t-get-out-of-bed, overachieving zombie, and “why do I cry when I can’t find my sandals.” Makes you love sweatpants.
Developmental Coordination Disorder (DCD) (n): The fancy medical way of saying “can’t ride a bike, walk in a straight line, or pour juice without starting a small kitchen disaster.” Often mistaken for clumsiness, laziness, or chaos gremlin energy, but surprise, your brain just didn’t install the motor control patch. A trip (literally). Also called Dyspraxia.
Disabled (adj): Officially means your body or brain doesn’t play by society’s default settings. Unofficially means you get unsolicited advice from strangers, denied basic accommodations, and treated like a tragic motivational poster with legs.
Disability (n): A medical term, a social construct, and a full-time job, without the paycheck. Often defined by what you can’t do by people who have no idea what you do all day, just to function. Comes with paperwork, pity, and people saying “but you don’t look sick!” as if that’s a compliment.
Disability Inclusion (n): Something that shouldn’t be that difficult. The rare art of just including everyone.
Disclosure (n): The terrifying social ritual where disabled and neurodivergent folks (usually in a work setting) reveal their diagnosis like it’s a plot twist, hoping it gets empathy, not an HR meeting, ghosting, or a pity stare. Also known as “professional roulette.”
Discrimination (n): The timeless tradition of treating people like garbage for existing slightly differently. Comes in many flavors: ableist, racist, sexist, homophobic, transphobic - collect them all! Bonus points if it's done with a smile and a DEI statement on the company website.
Dissociation (n): The emergency exit your brain pulls when reality gets too loud. Feels like floating above your body, watching your life like a TV show you didn’t audition for. Useful in a crisis. Inconvenient when you’re trying to answer a simple question like “How are you?”
Doctor Roulette (n): Spin the wheel and pray this one believes you exist.
Doom Scroll (v): Passive consumption of digital sadness until your eyeballs forget what dopamine is.
Dyscalculia (n): The brain's way of saying, “Math? Never heard of her.” A fun little neurological quirk where numbers shapeshift, clocks lie, and counting change feels like defusing a bomb. Side effects may include panic at calculators and lifelong beef with Sudoku. Dyslexia but with numbers.
Dyslexia (n): When your brain plays Scrabble without your permission. Letters do the cha-cha, words shapeshift mid-sentence, and reading aloud feels like live comedy, if comedy made you cry. (Eg, a “p,” “q,” “d,” and “b” could all look the same depending on which way your brain decides to flip them). Dyscalculia but with words.
Dysphoria (n): An identity hangover caused by society’s obsession with your body parts or your brain playing tricks on you. When your body and your soul are fighting, and both are losing. A deeply uncomfortable disconnect between gender identity and physical or social experience. Feels like wearing a costume.
Dysphoria Poltergeist (n): That ghostly voice saying “you look wrong” every time you put on underwear.
Dyspraxia (n): The art of walking into door frames like they offended you, personally. A neurological condition that makes coordination feel like a group project your body didn’t study for. Expect frequent bruises, dropped items, broken screen doors, and mysterious carpet-related injuries. Often paired with the phrase: “Are you okay?” followed by “Yes, this happens a lot.” Also called Developmental Coordination Disorder.
Echolalia (n): The delightful habit of repeating words, phrases, or sounds, sometimes for communication, sometimes because it feels satisfying. May result in quoting movies at inappropriate times or mimicking a cool word fifteen times in a row until it loses all meaning. Not just a “symptom”, it’s karaoke for the brain.
Echologia (n): Echolalia, but only inside your head, not out loud. Can be distracting and/or amusing.
Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (n): A fun little game of “Will It Dislocate Today?” Spoiler: Yes. A genetic connective tissue disorder where your collagen quits its job and your joints throw daily tantrums. Doctors will call it “mysterious.”
Emotional Intelligence (n): The ability to recognize, understand, and regulate emotions- aka that thing people with unchecked privilege love to demand from you, while actively harming you with their lack of it.
Employment Gap (n): 1. That mysterious black hole on your résumé where you were battling chronic illness, mental health, systemic barriers, or life imploding in eight directions. Not surviving on caffeine, vibes, and medical debt, nope. 2. The lower rate of employment that people with disabilities experience compared to people without disabilities.
Estrogen Overwhelm (n): That random, existential burst of gender euphoria that hits while buying a new dress. With pockets.
“Exceptions Don’t Invalidate You” (phrase; truth): Your identity is not fake; it means you’re a human, not a checkbox. You are valid.
Executive Dysfunction (n): The mental equivalent of watching your to-do list catch fire while you stare at the wall for four hours. Also known as the mysterious force that turns “just do the thing” into “literally cannot do the thing if my life depends on it.” You know exactly what you need to do, and yet, here you sit. Again. For hours.
Eye Contact (n): A social custom wherein two people silently agree to ruin each other’s day.
Fatigue (n): Not "tired." Not "need a nap." This is soul-deep, cell-level exhaustion where blinking feels like a cardio workout. No amount of sleep helps, but everyone keeps shaming you for not getting more anyway.
Fawning (v): The instinctual art of becoming overly agreeable, helpful, or invisible to avoid conflict, rejection, or social awkwardness. Also known as: people-pleasing mode times a hundred.
Common forms include:
-Laughing at things that aren’t funny
-Saying “no worries!” while actively panicking.
-Asking questions you already know the answers to to make someone else tolerate you.”
Alt definitions:
-Customer service voice: activated.
-Emotional shape-shifting to avoid being “too much” (spoiler: you’re not).
Feral Scheduling (n): The method of planning absolutely nothing until the stars align and the weather is right. You’ll probably cancel later.
Fibromyalgia (n): A chronic pain disorder where your entire nervous system throws a tantrum 24/7, and no one believes you because your bones aren't on fire visibly enough.
Flare-Ups (n): The moment your chronic illness decides to go full drama queen for no apparent reason. You were fine(ish) yesterday. Today? You are a human-shaped bag of pain and regret. Like being hit by a slow, stupid train driven by your immune system.
Causes may include: The weather, stress, a fun little thing called “existing”, or literally nothing. Your body just felt like chaos (e.g., “I am now too tired to blink, and everything hurts” or “please lower your voice and expectations”).
Freezing (v): When your brain hits the “spinny loading wheel of doom” in a social, sensory, or emotional situation. Not shy, just temporarily offline. Similar to shutting down, autistic buffering, and dissociating.
Symptoms may include:
-Staring into the void
-Forgetting your name, pronouns, or how to speak
-Mentally screaming while your face does absolutely nothing
Friendship Lag (n): The delay between “I like this person” and remembering to talk to them for three months.
Gaslighting (v): A time-honored tradition of telling people that what they’re experiencing isn’t real or that something didn’t happen. (see: being an ass)
Gatekeeping (n): The act of standing at the metaphorical door of a marginalized identity and yelling, “You’re not enough like me to belong here.” Often performed by people who got bullied and decided to become a bouncer instead of a healer. When someone decides you’re doing your own identity wrong.
Gay (adj): Attracted to the same gender. Also: an umbrella term, a culture, a mood, a lifestyle, and a survival tactic. Can be a man, a woman, nonbinary, or a walking glitter bomb. Words have power; use them.
Gaze, The (n): That feeling when someone looks at you like you’re a curiosity, a puzzle, or a TED Talk waiting to happen. Not to be auditorily confused with “the gays.”
Gender (n): A performance I never auditioned for, but somehow still got cast in twice. A social construct, a personal truth, a source of power, and an ongoing cosmic joke.
Gender Binary, The (n): A social system with only two boxes: boy or girl. Outdated. Limiting. Fragile. Throw it out and set it on fire to signal your people.
Gender Euphoria (n): That buzz in your bones when you're outside finally matches your inside, or when you wear an outfit that makes your soul fist-pump. Can be caused by: a haircut, someone using the right pronouns, or catching yourself in the mirror and reflecting the right vibe. The opposite of dysphoria. Same universe as magic.
Gender? I Hardly Know Her (phrase): A joyful rejection of rigid categories. Often accompanied by funky fashion, sarcastic eyeliner, and vibes that cannot be contained by the binary. Gender = a sandbox, not a box. Ask me what my pronouns are, not what my gender is.
“Have You Tried Yoga?” (phrase): A cursed suggestion frequently offered by people who think your spine is just shy. May trigger rage, sarcasm, or eye-rolling-induced migraines.
Heteroflexible (adj): Mostly straight… until the right person walks in with a jawline and a mysterious vibe, and suddenly it’s “labels are fake.” Frequently used by people who “aren’t gay, but…” and we love that for them. Occasionally followed by a bisexual awakening in 6-12 months. AKA: Straight, with a pinch of gay panic and just enough denial to keep things interesting. Flipside of Homoflexible.
“High Functioning” (adj): An outdated medical way of saying “You suffer quietly, so we’ll ignore it.”
Homoflexible (adj): Mostly into the same gender… but now and then, someone outside that range shows up and you’re like, “…damn it.” Not bisexual, not confused, just queer with an occasional plot twist. Basically "straight panic."
Think: 95% gay, 5% exceptions exist, and I’m emotionally unprepared for them.
Alt definition: Gay, but that one scene in a movie made me question things for a second. Flipside of Heteroflexible.
Hospital Hangover (n): The emotional and physical crash you get after spending a few days in the hospital and speaking to professionals while pretending to be normal. Masking burnout, everything is flaring and sore, and you just need your bed, ten ice packs, a heating pad, and a giant tub of ice cream.
HRT Side Questing (n): The phase of hormone therapy where your body, mood, and soul are all changing, and none of them remembered to tell each other.
Hyperfixation (n): A temporary but all-consuming obsession with a topic, activity, person, or object. Think ADHD hyperfocus meets religion. Otherwise known as the ability to write a 44-slide PowerPoint about 18th-century door hinges at midnight.
Impostor Syndrome (n): The persistent belief that you’re faking it, failing it, or don’t deserve it, despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Fueled by trauma, capitalism, and a little voice in your head that severely needs a nap.
Info-Dumping (v): The unstoppable urge to tell someone everything about the thing that brings us joy, comfort, or hyperfocus, and we will not be taking questions at this time. Examples include listing 37 obscure animal facts mid-conversation or sending you a 10-paragraph text because you casually mentioned outer space once.
Alt definitions: Nerd flirting. Verbal stimming. My love language, but in TED Talk format.
Inspiration Porn (n): When people treat your survival and victories as a feel-good story for themselves. Usually ends in, “You’re so brave, I could never!” When society turns your basic survival into a feel-good story. “You made toast? Incredible.”
Intersectionality (n): The idea that multiple marginalized identities can overlap in one body, making life exponentially more complicated, and yet somehow still ignored by people who “don’t see labels.” (see me and this book)
“Just Be Yourself” (phrase): Said by people who would immediately panic if you acted like yourself.
Law of Applied Observance, The (n): A natural law (termed by me, copyright S. E. Thomson) that says whenever you are being observed, the symptom or thing you wanted to show someone doesn't happen. (Eg, my hand gets tremors until the doctor is checking it out, or your car makes that sound until the mechanic is listening).
Learning Disability (n): A charming neurological plot twist that means your brain takes the scenic route, but still gets there. May involve confusing letters, numbers, time, space, or all of the above. Like trying to run Windows on a Mac while everyone yells at you to "just download it again."
Lesbian (n): A person (usually but not always a woman) who loves other women.
Subclasses include but not limited to: Butch, Femme, Soft Butch, Stud, Stem, Daddy, Boi, Chapstick Lesbian.
LGBTQIA+ (acronym, adj): A beautiful alphabet soup of queerness. Yes, we keep adding letters. No, we’re not done yet. Translation: if you’re not close-minded, you’re probably invited. Bring snacks.
Masking (v): The exhausting Olympic sport of performing behavior to avoid people saying weird stuff to you in the grocery store. Side effects may include: burnout, exhaustion, self-doubt, resentment, identity crises, and needing a weeklong nap. It’s like drag, but for social survival, and less fun.
Medical Trauma (n): The PTSD you get from being dismissed, misdiagnosed, or touched without consent in a room that smells like latex and lies.
Microaggressions (n): Tiny, socially acceptable jabs wrapped in a smile. Usually followed by: “It was just a joke!”, “You’re too sensitive.” or “I didn’t mean it like that.” They’re like passive-aggressive glitter bombs; harmless looking until they build up, stick to everything, and slowly make you lose your mind.
Mobility Aid Envy (n): When someone says, “I wish I could use a wheelchair to get special treatment!” and you have to resist the urge to hand it to them and say, “Cool, take my pain with it.”
Monologue Mode (n): The unstoppable info-dump that happens when someone asks about your interests and visibly wasn’t ready, but you just keep going because now you've gotten started, and their eyes start to glaze over and-
Neurodivergent (adj): Brains that break the mold. Often found in kids with “behavior problems,” and adults who are just exhausted. A fancy word for “my brain doesn’t do things the way yours does, and that’s not a flaw, it’s a feature.” Originally coined to describe people with autism, ADHD, dyslexia, and other cognitive differences, but now lovingly claimed by anyone whose mental wiring doesn’t fit the “default” factory settings.
Neurodivergent Friendship (n): Two people who don’t talk for 8 weeks and then trauma dump via meme like nothing ever happened.
Neurodivergent Time Warp (n): When 5 minutes takes 3 hours and yesterday feels like next week. Linear time is boring.
Neurospicy (adj): What you say when you want to sound cute about your neurodivergent shenanigans.
Neurotypical (adj): A person whose brain functions according to the unwritten social rules that everyone somehow agreed on without telling the rest of us.
Non-binary (adj): Neither exclusively male nor female. Or somewhere in between.
Gender: customizable.
Pronouns: negotiable.
Expression: untouchable.
Note: when abbreviating, use enby, not n.b., as that is historically reserved to mean "non-black".
Pain Gremlin (n): The tiny cryptid in your spine who chews wires every time you stand up too fast.
Pain Tour (n): A daily guided experience through new and exciting regions of “ow.”
Painiversary (n): The annual celebration of “Oh wow, I’ve been hurting this long? Cool, cool cool cool.”
Pansexual (adj): Attracted to people regardless of gender. Often mistaken for bi, but with bonus chaos energy. Will flirt with you, your best friend, and your genderless OC with equal enthusiasm.
Passing (v): When you blend in with a group you’re not part of, so they’ll stop asking invasive questions. Also known as “emotional camouflage.”
People-Pleasing (n): A trauma response with a loyalty card and no rewards. Doing too much to earn approval, even when you're not enjoying yourself.
Presenting (v): Describes how someone’s appearance or vibe leans more traditionally “masculine” or “feminine” in a society obsessed with binary categories. But heads up: It’s about how we’re read, not who we are. You can be a femme-presenting man, a masc-presenting nonbinary gremlin, or a shapeshifter who changes outfits and gender hourly. Presentation ≠ identity.
Translation: Just because I look masc/femme doesn’t mean you get to assume my gender, pronouns, or anything else. Sit down.
Note: Masc and femme aren’t opposites. They’re just different flavors.
Pronoun Tension (n): That moment of silence after someone uses the incorrect pronouns for you, and you know it’s about to get weird.
PTSD (n): Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, your brain’s extremely unhelpful scrapbook full of Facebook memories. Keeps playing reruns of the worst days of your life with surround sound and zero warning. You might flinch at nothing, dissociate during brunch, or spiral because someone raised their voice just right. It's trauma’s afterparty, and you weren’t invited, you just woke up there.
Queer (adj): A delightfully expansive identity that breaks binaries, melts norms, and throws glitter at the idea of “either/or.” Also means: “None of your business,” “All of the above,” or “It’s complicated and I like it that way.” It can also be used as an umbrella or grouping term for people like me who are too many things to list in a quick interaction. Warning: May confuse distant relatives and conservative Facebook friends.
Queer Joy (n): The moment you laugh so hard with your chosen family you forget you ever felt “other.” It tastes like freedom, sounds like cackling, and looks like combat boots with glitter eyeshadow. Side effects include: crying at Pride, spontaneous dance breaks, and finding love in places that aren’t romantic, but are holy.
Queerplatonic (adj): A deep, committed, non-romantic relationship that’s more than friendship, but defies the usual labels. Loyalty without the “we’re dating” script. Sometimes experienced by aromantic people.
Questioning (adj): Still figuring it out. It may take a while. May never land on a single label, and that’s okay. Exploration ≠ confusion. It’s just the scenic route.
Reasonable Accommodation (n): A legally required bare-minimum adjustment that non-disabled people occasionally deliver with a sigh, a side-eye, and a "just this once" attitude, as if ramps and captions are luxury amenities and not, you know, civil rights. Your boss might move a chair two inches to the left or let you use headphones, if you beg, cry, and provide 41 doctor’s notes, a blood sample, and a handwritten letter from God. Called “reasonable,” but only if you’re not the one asking.
Representation (n): Seeing someone like you in media, who doesn’t immediately die in the first 15 minutes. Revolutionary!
Self-Advocacy (n): The radical act of saying, “Actually, I need considerations,” and then not combusting when they ignore you. WELL DONE!
Sensory Hell/Sensory Nope (n): That one noise, light, smell, or texture that sends your soul straight out the window.
Sensory Overload/Sensory Processing Issue (n): When the lights are too bright, the sounds are too loud, your clothes are too wrong, someone’s chewing near you, and suddenly your entire nervous system wants to give up on life. Many “sensory nope”s at once. Can lead to meltdown, shut down, or dissociation.
Sexuality (n): A spectrum of attraction. It can change and shift (more than once) in your life. Your body chemicals and gaydar might betray you sometimes. It’s all part of the chaos and charm of being human. See also: vibes.
Snack Therapy (n): When the only thing keeping you together is a very specific brand of crackers.
Spoon Theory (n): An elegant metaphor for limited energy used mostly to explain why you’re canceling plans again. A bit outdated; some people use "bandwidth" or “mana” now. I use “beans.”
Stimming (v): Repetitive movements or sounds that help regulate emotions, focus, or sensory input (e.g., flapping, bouncing, spinning, or tapping your way to emotional equilibrium). Unapologetically delightful. Frequently misunderstood. Bonus: makes people stare.
Stimposium (n): An unplanned autistic gathering where everyone’s stimming and nobody’s making eye contact. Bliss.
Straight (adj): Rarely seen in its natural habitat. Often confused when entering queer spaces. Warning: May ask, “So who’s the man in the relationship?” Do not engage whenever possible.
Testosterone Tears (n): The internal tears you imagine when you get to the point of trying to make yourself cry, not because you’re sad, but because your body won't let you.
Text Spiral (n): When you reread a message 12 times, rewrite your reply five times, and then only say “lol” because the pressure broke you.
They/Them Rage (n): The specific fury caused by being misgendered by someone who’s holding your pronoun pin in their hand. Bonus: the same person argues with you for seven minutes about how “they cannot be used in the singular form.”
Tone Policing (v/n): When people ignore what you’re saying because they don’t like how you said it. Usually ends in someone calling you “aggressive” while you were simply existing slightly louder than a houseplant. The gatekeeping of speech.
Toxic Positivity (n): The weaponized form of “good vibes only.” A deeply annoying habit of invalidating real pain by aggressively insisting on optimism. Often sounds like: “Everything happens for a reason!”, “It could be worse!”, “Just look on the bright side!”, “Don’t be so negative!”, or “Smile more, you'll feel better!” Usually delivered by people who want to look supportive without actually having to sit with your discomfort. See also: Emotional Avoidance, Main Character Syndrome, and Your Aunt’s Facebook Page.
Transgender (adj; NOT a noun): Your gender ≠ what the doctor said at birth. Not a phase, not a costume, not confusion, not up for debate. Just self-awareness and maybe a little legal paperwork.
Note: Medical/Surgical intervention or transition re NOT a requirement.
Trauma (n): A collection of unfortunate events in the past that your nervous system keeps as trophies. Sometimes it’s a horror story, sometimes it’s years of subtle gaslighting. Either way, it camps out in your body like it’s paying rent and usually rears its head when you’re almost having a peaceful moment.
Trigger (n): Something that sends your brain into full emergency mode. Not an overreaction. Not a joke about feeling upset or uncomfortable.
Two-Spirit (adj, cultural): A sacred, culturally specific identity used in some Indigenous communities to describe people with both masculine and feminine spirits. Not a catch-all. Not interchangeable with nonbinary. Respect the origin, don’t colonize the term.
Vibes (n): An intuitive sense of something. An emotional atmosphere. A deeply unscientific yet uncannily accurate reading of a person, place, or situation. Often used by: queer folks, autistics, people with anxiety, witches, and anyone too tired to articulate what’s wrong, but certain that it is. You don’t need evidence, you just know. Examples: “The doctor gave me bad vibes, so I ghosted. For my health.” Aka: a word I use too much, sorry not sorry.
Wheelchair Drift (n): That sick corner turns you nail in a hallway like you’re in Fast & Frustrated.
